I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
