Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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