bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize