Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
