the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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