i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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