Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
