If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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