the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
