Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize