I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
