remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
