i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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