U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
