How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
kristin has been a bad kristin
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
