So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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