Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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