I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
