Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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