Plan B is the new Plan A
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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