In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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