So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Panties = found
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