UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
