I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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