She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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