im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
