went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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