So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
