Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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