you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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