It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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