i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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