I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
