If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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