The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize