You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
