That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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