How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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