Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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