This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Less talking, more tequila
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
