she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just forgot I was standing up.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize