I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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