How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
