she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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