i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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