She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
