Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
