very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
