all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
