don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
