I never want to see another naked old woman again.
time to smoke my breakfast
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
