Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
