Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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