um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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