Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
