i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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