Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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