Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
