He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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