we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
