So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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