How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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