Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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