Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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