Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
